Being a parent is tough. Any which way you look at it. Doing it alone is sometimes hard, but mostly it isn’t – truthfully. I guess it depends on what day we are discussing those pros and cons and how much sleep I managed to get the night before 🙂 I am proudly a single parent to two three year old boys – or “threenagers” as I sometimes call them – and this role, above all others has been my most challenging and rewarding to date.
It is so easy to get caught up in the mundane rituals of raising little humans that you so often forget to take in those insignificant moments that come and go, soon to become those memories you long for. Long, sleepless nights have been my nightly scenario the last couple of weeks with one of my twins being very ill but never have I been asked for so many midnight cuddles as in this time. I have been needed more, I have comforted, hugged, reassured and calmed more than I usually do and as a result, am so much more connected with my little one.
This past weekend was filled with moments of reflection. In between trying to get them to eat ANYTHING, stop them from bickering with each other and the odd tantrum, we had FUN together. At home, just the three of us, looking for bugs, playing fetch with our dog Cammie, running through sprinklers, discovering kinetic sand and watching the same episode of Paw Patrol over and over and over… and I would not have had it any other way.
I am richer for these moments. I look at these two little boys with wonder and still remember those years of wishing and praying for a baby, and then there were two 🙂
I often beat myself up because of all the things I cannot give them, but I know that I am giving them SO MUCH when I give them my time, my attention and my unconditional acceptance – because that is the best way I can Love them. I wish they could grasp now, just how much they give me every single day.
“There is no way to be a perfect Mother but there are million ways to be a good one”.